Survive!
by Tequila Sunrise
Summary: Songfic, H left R, and she will survive... But will she take him back? Empowerment song.


This is a song fic based on the song that Cake remade, called "I will Survive". It's a very  
empowering song, and it's one of my favorites. I hope you like how I did it.  
  
  
At first I was afraid.  
I was petrified.  
I kept thinking I could never live  
Without you by my side.  
  
Relena cried into her pillow, alone and afraid. Heero had left yesterday, without so much  
as a fare-thee-well. She had known it would happen... But she didn't want it to. Why did he have  
to leave?? How could she go on?? Her was her life... her happiness... her all.   
  
But then I spent so many nights  
Just thinking how you'd done me wrong.  
  
Relena stared at her ceiling, thinking over everything that had happened to her as a cause  
of Heero. Her sadness, her disbelief in herself. Her lack of confidence in her people and her job...   
Her unrequitted love...  
  
  
I grew strong.  
I learned how to get along.   
  
And she got angry. And she grew strong. She could live without him! She would. Even  
if it was out of nothing but pure spite to Heero Yuy, though she doubted he would care.  
  
Relena went to dances, with several different men, danced all night, and as she twirled  
around the dance floor of one, she didn't notice a pair of eyes on her from the shadows... But her  
brother did, and smiled grimly at the jealousy he saw cross the watching man's eyes.  
  
And so you're back from outer space.  
I just walked in to find you here  
Without that look upon your face.  
  
Relena opened the door to her room that night, stretching tiredly, and flicking on her  
radio, right in the middle of 'I will Survive'. She had danced all night, and Duo... Why had she  
never noticed how handsome he was? His violet eyes, his unchanging braid... all so sexy in this  
carefree way... and heaven above! What a dancer. She threw her arms above her head and ground  
her hips in the new way Duo had introduced her to.   
"Hello, Relena." Heero's voice rang out from where he had been sitting on her bed,  
watching her. He stood and advanced toward her. She stood stock-still, disbelieving he was here...   
trying to take her in his arms... but this was not a welcome revelation. As his lips rested  
possesively on hers, and his tongue traced the outline of her lips, she jerked back, slapping him  
across the face.   
She finally saw one look on his face that she never had before. Complete and utter shock.   
The perfect soldier was stunned speechless.   
'Good!' she thought maliciously. That bastard. How dare he!! Ironically, the song spoke  
the words she felt so she sang along, glaring venomously into his eyes.   
  
"I would have changed my fucking lock.  
I would have made you leave your key  
If I'd have known for just one second  
You'd be back to bother me."   
  
The emotions showing in his eyes had nothing to do with tenderness and love. They were  
lust, and want and possession and jealousy. Duo had looked at her softly, sweetly, with caring.   
This... this artificial... something... she had settled for no longer seemed to measure up. She had  
survived his abandonment. And she had moved on and grown stronger. What better chance to  
prove it than now??  
She pointed at the door. "Get out! Just leave! How dare you think you can just come  
back here??"  
  
Oh now go.  
Walk out the door.  
Just turn around now.  
You're not welcome anymore.  
  
Heero noted the fire in her eyes, and finally knew that she was right. That he should have  
known she would move on... She was a Dorlain after all, bred to be hearty... she was strong... He  
thought that a wonder... She had loved the Perfect Soldier and still had her heart intact... but the  
thought of her giving it to the God of Death, while she was still his, before he was ready to  
relinquish her, was unthinkable. He gazed at her with lust evident in his Prussian blue eyes and  
slowly, walking towards her, stripped out of his shirt. She was still his. And tonight would prove  
it.   
  
Weren't you the one  
Who tried to break me with desire?  
  
Relena remembered... everytime they had argued, Heero had turned it into a sex match.   
They didn't even skirt the issue. They just totally ignored it. The solution to every problem had  
been to just "sleep on it". And he was trying it here!! The thought made Relena's blood run like  
fire in her veins. As he reached for her again, she slapped him away.  
"Trying the sex approach, Heero? Think after six months, I'm just gonna hop in bed with  
you??"  
  
Did you think I'd crumble?  
Did you think I'd lay down and die?  
  
She smirked at him, finally understanding. But he wasn't happy, and it was not supposed  
to go this way. He grabbed her by the arms and she struggled. Fiercely. He threw her to the bed  
and pinned her there with the weight of his body.   
"How can you say you don't want me, Relena?" He whispered hotly at her. "How can  
you say you don't miss me... miss us... Miss making love?" He nibbled at her neck, where he  
knew was her favorite, most vulnerable spot. But she crunched her shoulder up to stop him.   
"You can't stand it, can you, Heero? You just wanna prove I can't live without you. But  
I've proved I can. I can and I have... and I like it better... You thought I'd just curl up into a ball  
and die, is that it? Not me, Yuy... I'm stronger... Stronger than you. And that kills you too,  
doesn't it? Or is it that I like the so called Shinigami better than I ever will you?? Or is it just a  
combination of all these??" She sneered. "You really thought I would just fade away like some  
little wraith because I didn't have someone who never really loved me in the first place?? Not me,  
Heero... Oh, not I."  
  
Oh not I.   
  
I will survive.  
As long as I know how to love  
I know I'll be alive.  
  
She rolled and pinned his willing body to the sheets below them. "See, Heero... As long  
as I know the difference between what we had, and what I can have with Duo... Real love... then  
I'll always survive... Because that's the one thing I have on you... a willingness to live, and to love  
to the fullest... And until you learn to do the same... you'll be this..." She pounded at his chest,  
"This ghost in a shell."  
He lifted her off him, pinning her again beneath him. "I'm not a ghost, Relena! I'm a man!   
Real, and I want you... And Duo can't have you till I've finished with you!" The jealousy she had   
suspected shone clear and bright in his eyes, as did desperation... to possess her once more, to  
claim her lips, her body, and, she knew he hoped, her heart.   
She slowly pushed him off her, and opened her balcony window, the way she knew he  
came in.   
"Good-bye Heero."  
"This isn't good-bye, Relena... you can't survive without me... and when you realize that...   
I'll be waiting."  
  
I've got all my life to live.  
I've got all my love to give.  
I will survive.  
I will survive.   
  
She shook her head... He was wrong. She would survive... She was strong... she wanted  
to live... and love again.  
  
It took all the strength I had  
Just not to fall apart.  
I'm trying hard to mend  
The pieces of my broken heart.  
And I spent oh so many nights  
Just feeling sorry for myself.  
I used to cry.  
But now I hold my head up high.   
  
Relena tentatively accepted dinner invitations, keeping the remainders of her heart hidden,  
under wraps. Duo entered her office in the middle of a lunch- 'date'.   
"Hey! Secretary boy! Out! I gotta talk to my princess."  
"Duo!! This is a man that I am having lunch with! He's... a friend of mine."  
"Oh?" Duo had the grace to look chagrined. Then he shot the man a look he had  
perfected during the war. The Shinigami scowl. The man rose to his feet quickly.   
"I... Excuse me Ms. Princess Dorlain! I have a previous engagement that I'm late for.   
Good bye." The wimp basically ran out the door.   
"Well, Maxwell? What do you want?"  
"The questions is, Princess, what do you want??" He did not say Princess like a title, but  
rather an endearment, and it gave her a shiver of pleasure... but what was he talking about? And  
why was he sitting this close to her? He was sitting on her side of the desk, his butt resting on it,  
lounging comfortably.  
"Umm.. I... I'm sorry... What do I want from what?"  
"From me."  
She couldn't say a word.  
"Heero paid a little call to me. Said to stay away from you, and that you were still his, till  
he was ready to relinguish you... Thought it was time to see what you wanted, Princess." The  
name again.... that endearment...  
He leaned his head close, with a feral gleam in his eye and captured her mouth with his.   
She sighed softly against his lips, and his kiss grew softer, and with less demand, the passion he  
created was explosive. She wound her arms around his neck and he pulled her up to kiss her with  
more passion. The door to her office swung open again... This time revealing Heero Yuy.  
  
And you'll see me with somebody new.  
I'm not that stupid little person  
Still in love with you.  
  
Relena finally realized that it was Duo... Duo who made her heart beat faster, but  
somehow feel secure, and kissed her not with only lust, but with love, and had totally and  
completely captured her heart... and she didn't feel a bit afraid that he would maim it.  
  
And so you thought you'd just drop by,  
And you expect me to be free.  
  
Relena disengaged herself from Duo and walked to greet Heero.   
"Heero... I told you... it's over... You can't expect me to put my life on hold for you...   
especially since you don't really love me..."  
  
But now I'm saving all my lovin'  
For someone who's lovin' me.   
  
Duo walked up behind her, putting an arm possessively around her waist. "I'm sorry  
Heero... I thought... I thought she was in love with you... so I let you have her... and you abused  
her heart... but I've been in love with her from the onset... Not her position, not her money, not  
how she is in bed... the woman that you never got to know, Heero. Mission failed. Please...   
please leave us in peace."  
  
Oh now go.  
Walk out the door.  
Just turn around now.  
You're not welcome anymore.  
Weren't you the one  
Who tried to break me with desire?  
Did you think I'd crumble?  
Did you think I'd lay down and die?  
Oh not I.   
  
Relena watched as Heero, snarling an obsenity so extreme she wasn't quite sure of the  
literal translation, walked out the door to her office, slamming it shut behind him. And she sighed.   
Not in relief, not truly. Maybe partly, but mostly because she felt nothing but a strange sadness that  
she would probably never see him again. And partly because she felt a genuine happiness that Duo  
could be her true love. And perhaps, perhaps that Heero would find a true soulmate... Someone  
whom he could love... But even if Heero didn't, and Duo wasn't, she knew one thing...  
  
She would survive.  
  
I will survive.  
As long as I know how to love  
I know I'll be alive.  
I've got all my life to live.  
I've got all my love to give.  
I will survive.  
I will survive.   
  
~*~*~*Finis*~*~*~  
  
Ok. That's the end. I actually like this one! I like the fact that Relena is strong and  
knows, despite anything, that she'll survive. This is a romance as well as an empowerment song!   
And I have to say, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! IT KICKS!!!! A-hem. Now I'm done, and I  
command you to write me with comments of any kind. :) Lunacat613@aol.com   
Arrigato!!  
Your...  
Desert Rose  



End file.
